Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor;those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they each miss someone very special, someone who was left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly, he breaks from the group, flying over the green grass, faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into those trusting eyes, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart. Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together... Author Unknown
{ 7:55 PM }
Dear Jobi
I miss you so much. Although the pain has lessened, I still think of you the whole day. Everything reminds me of you because you have been such a great part of my life. Even as I go through the motions of work and play, it is not the same. I told the kakis of Bishan Park of your demise when we visited the park on Sat. They were just as sad. As we walked to the park, Cal and I recalled how you would sniff at every tree and mark your territory. We were filled with all your lovely memories.
Also, I visited the pet shop that I bought you 12 years ago. I can still recall every single detail vividly. How I immediately had an affinity for you, an inexplicable liking for you despite the fact that there were so many shelties on sale. To me, you were the cutest, so chubby and playful. You ignored me as I tried to get your attention. You were too busy playing with all the puppies. Eventually I grabbed hold of you and performed the puppy test on you. You passed the submissive test but you didn't do well in the responsive component. True to your nature, you respect me and is submissive to me but it's hard to get your attention. You have a brain of you own.
You were a playful pup. You loved to dash around the house. You destroyed all the wooden furniture. You even programmed us to open the door for you by scratching the doors. You often sneaked into the bathroom and stole my bras and socks. Then, you would lie on them, happy and contented. You loved my scent as much as I loved yours. Although, I scolded you, I was secretly pleased that you only stole mine and not the others. You were my dog.
After your demise, everyday, mum, Cal, dad and I would talk about you. Even Jeannie misses you incredibly. We talk about how incredibly wise and sagacious you were, that you could outwit and outsmart all other dogs. How you would limp to us whenever you were caught doing something wrong to gain our sympathy. How you would trick Russell countless times and gobble up his food instead. You are the MM of dogs.. wise and sagacious. How incredibly sociable you were that you loved to mix around with all dogs. You never had any temper and you got along well with everyone, even the grouchiest of dogs. You had your way of befriending others.
I remember how I spent my univerisity days with you. I often took you park hopping. I would pack us some drinks and titbits and we would visit all the 3 parks in the vicnity. There we would just revel in each other's company. How I missed those days. Then, there were exams.. you were always beside me while I was studying. Sometimes you were under my feet. Sometimes you slept by my bed. Whenever, I was stressed out or upset about something and started crying, you would get up from where ever you are and come over to comfort me. You would sit right in the middle and lay your head on my lap and gaze lovingly up at me, as if telling me that everything would be alright. Only you had the ability to comfort me. You never fail to come to me and comfort me whenever I cried. Rus and Bub dun have that special ability of yours. I would sometimes sing you your favourite lullably and stroke your beautiful fur. You had such a lovely coat even on your death bed.
Then Russell came along. You were like a guardina angel, looking after him. He was in his playpen and you slept beside it. You can't tear yourself away from Russell. That's why Russell loves you so much. To him, you will always be his gor gor. He always sleeps beside you. I have so many pictures of him beside you. Although he bullies you, you let him. You give him to his nonsense. Jobi, Russell misses you. He looks so glum and you know he is a happy-go-lucky character.
Then Calvin came along. We would walk both of you to faraway places and even brought you guys out to parks and beaches. When I started to own a van, I drove you guys out every weekend. How much fun we had. It's a good thing that Cal loved you as much as I do. I have chosen wisely yah, Jobi.
When I adopted Bubbles, you also readily accepted her into our household. Yes, you wanted her to be your wife. But you were too short. Haha. But I know you love her too. You had so much love to give. As you grew older, you became wiser but grouchier. You would bark at any noise be it the karang guni man or the boys in their rollerblades. You would glare at us if you were in bad mood. We still joke about the dirty looks you would throw us when you were in a bad mood.
But still, I love you. You have brought me so many wonderful memories Jobi. I really hope you are in a better place. Pls wait for me. I will come but not now.. maybe in another 40 years. We would be reunited again. I can't wait for that day Jobi. I can't wait to hold you in my arms again. I think of you constantly. I will never forget you.
{ 7:20 PM }
I would like to thank everyone for your support. It's really amazing how incredibly kind and supportive everyone has been. I thought no one would understand me. I was waiting for the dreaded phrase 'he is only a dog' But none of that came. I am really touched by all the the support you have given me. You dun know how your kind words and support have touched me and helped to assuage my grief. Thank you.
Today is the 7th day that Jobi left this earth. Many Chinese believe it is the day that the soul of the dead would come back to pay a visit to those whom they have left behind. I anticipated this day greatly. When I got home, as I climbed the stairs to my flat, I smelt a very strong smell. Jobi has a uniquely jobi scent. To me he smells lovely, to other people it's another story altogether. Nonetheless, I loved his smell. As I climbed the steps to my place, I smelt him. I really did. I rushed over to my mum's place, half expecting to see Jobi in his favourite spot, waiting to wag his tail and smile at me lovingly. But he was not there. I dunno if I imagined this. The sceptic in me says, 'Janice he is gone.. he has gone to be with God in Heaven' But the grieving person in me says, 'Jobi is back. He is back because he misses me too.' When I went back to my home, I showered and took a nap. I slept for two hours... deeply. But I was awoken by the wind chime attached to my main door. Usually when I take an afternoon nap, I can always hear the wind chime, signifying the return of my hubby. I looked at the clock on my table and thought to myself, 'it's about time that he is back. I am hungry.' I waited for him to come into the bedroom. But there was no one. I went out to check things out. There was no one. Again I thought of Jobi. If only I can hold him one last time, if only I can inhale deeply his scent one last time. What I would give to have him back by my side. I love him so much. He was my true best friend, more like a best friend rather than a son...
{ 6:57 PM }
Thursday, October 23, 2008.
22 October 2008 will be a day that I would never forget. It was the day that my best friend departed from this world. My best pal, Jobi, passed away. He has been my dog for 12 years. I had him since he was an impish puppy. He recently contracted cancer and his cancer had spread. He left us on 22/10/08 in the morning. I am really inconsolable. I feel so much pain.
The last 3 days before his demise, he didn't really have much appetite. However, when offered a juciy piece of pork, he readily ate it. He also couldn't walk much. I knew he was growing weaker but I didn't pay much attention to it.. too caught up with my own world. I didn't expect him to go so quickly. He still looked alert and would wag his tail when he saw us. On 21/10/08, his tumour on his body burst. It bled profusely and he was running a fever. I rushed him to the hospital. Thank God.. I actually spend quality time at the bench in the void deck with him just before we went to the hospital.. just him and me like how it was many years ago. I just sat there, stroking him while he lay peacefully by my side. I cried. I knew he didn't have much time left on earth but I didn't know he would leave me the next day.
Anyway after rushing him to the emergency vet, we took him home. The vet assured us that there was nothing much that we could do. We felt sad but comforted that there was nothing 'serious'.
The next morning, my mum went to feed him like how she normally would. She called him but he did not respond. He was sleeping in his favourite position- with his head resting on his paws. She lifted his head and saw that there was a strange look in his eyes. She let go off his head and it just fell to the side. She knew immediately something was very wrong. She screamed in agony and that woke my sis who called me immediately. I was driving our publicity team back to school so I didn't pick up the phone. When I reached school, I checked my phone and just then my sis called me. She told me between sobs that Jobi had passed away. I was in shock. I didn't believe her. As I drove home, I told myself that it can't be true. He was fine yesterday.
When I got home, I knelt down beside him. His feet and gums were cold. His body was turning cold too. I called out his name in agony and anguish. I tried to wake him. I shook him but he just lay there motionlessly. I knew my best friend had left me. The pain I felt was indescrible.
After I calmed down a bit, I told my sis to contact my hubby who apparently couldn't be contacted as he had switched off his phone. I called my friend to get the number of a mobile pet cremation service. They offer individual cremation where there will only be one body in the furnace and we can witness the cremation and get back the ashes.
The man was very kind and he told me to take my time and to call him when I was ready. I put down the phone, numbed and in so much pain. I couldn't believe it. My Jobi boy gone.... I spent the remaining time stroking Jobi, smelling and hugging him. In an hour or two, I wouldn't even be able to do it anymore.
When the man(Sam) from 'Tengoku' came, he stroked Jobi and uttered something to him. Just then, Russell, Jobi's bro for 11 years came forward. He kissed Jobi gently on his snout. It was so sweet and poignant. At first,I though Russell in his usual boisterous manner will disturb Jobi but all he wanted to do was to kiss his Gor gor gently goodbye. The man wrapped Jobi in a white cloth and covered his face with it. Russell went forward again and tried to kiss his gor gor again. It was so painful to watch.
Sam then took Jobi and placed him in his van. When we reached the void deck, it started to drizzle and slowly it poured even heavier as we drove in a convoy to Pasir Ris Farmway. It is as if Jobi was telling me that he also couldn't bear to leave us. He was crying. He knew I was crying.
When we reached the place, we couldn't conduct the cremation because it was raining heavily. so reflective of the mood we were in... I think Jobi is trying to stall his own cremation. He can't bear to bid goodbye to us. When the rain stopped to a drizzle, we started the ceremony. Sam lifted Jobi out of his 'coffin' and placed him on a tray that would be loaded into the furnace. He gave us some time to say our final goodbyes. I hugged and kissed Jobi. I love him so much. It was like attending my own son's funeral. My family also broke down in tears. When we were ready, Jobi's body was slowly pushed into the furnace. My Jobi was gone... just like that... I could never hold him in my arms. I could never enjoy his quiet but comforting company. I could never have him comfort me whenever I am sad. I miss him already... How am I going to go on without him in my life. It is going to be so hard.
The one thing I learn about this experience is this: Treasure your loved ones now. Spend time with time. Cherish them. Once they are gone, we will never get them back.
Oh my. yesterday.. was a day I would never forget. It started with a hearty breakfast and a quick practice session of the song that we would be singing during farewell assembly. The words are really touching. I am sure the kids would be moved. I am already feeling so sad.. sigh.
Then I went to class. My monkey of a class had something up their sleeves. When I entered the class, all of them were there, waiting for me. The classroom was beautifully decorated and there was a huge cake in the middle of the classroom. Wow!! The class also made me an enormous card! I loved it! I was so touched when I read it. Yes I have made an impact in their lives. I am so pleased. Sometimes it really feels good to feel appreciated and loved. And yes I love them very much too.. they must have felt it too.
I presented them with my last gift for them- a compilation of quotes that they can read when they need a boost!!! I broke down when I gave out the handouts. I could not help it. We have been through so much.. unmotivated class, zero class spirit, fights, smoking, theft case, cheating, complaints from all teachers, and yet look at them now... They have all grown up.. more mature and sensible and yes to quote Azlinah.. they are loving one another more.. less hurtful words.. more love.. I am so proud of them.
Next was the prize presentation for the special people in my class.I gave out certificates and presents which I have specially chosen for them. Most Caring- Aminah. Most Helpful - Boon Wee, Most Creative- Sok Zhen, Most Improved- Darren, Most Humorous- Eryang, Best Team Player- Gordon, Most Punctual- Irfan, Most Responsible- Wen Hui, Most Pleasant and Most Diligent- ZOLENE.. No kelongs ok.. my class voted for the winners.. i just tallied the votes!
Then we had a grand feast of pizza and yummy mashmellows. Thanks for everything 5B.. Mr Liu and I really appreciate all that you have done.. Really sweet and nice of you.
We had to adjourn to the hall soon. When it was time to go on stage to sing, I started off okay but when it came to the chorus(I hope you know somebody loves you And wants the same things too) I could not stop the tears from flowing. I was choking so badly that I couldn't sing. When I looked into the audience and saw my pupils, Er Yang, Melvin, Aminah, Yilin looking up at me, I had to look away.. If not I will cry even more.
The video presentations were also very moving with all the well-wishes.Our student rep, Wei Li and Sam also spoke very well. My pupils told me they cried when they watched my video...yeah.. I am happy it touched them.
Then the final walk down the red carpet. Usually, I will only hug people I love and I never hug boys. This year, I hugged all of them. They are just too special and they mean so much to me. I will really miss them.. all the camaraderie we share in class, all the support and encouragement we give to one another. I will miss them. Tears flowed freely. I know they will miss the school and their classmates. They have been through so much together.
I went home, still high from the ceremony but I had a terrible headache. After popping two panadol, I went to bed and only woke up at 8.30pm. My hubby came back and I told him that I wanted to join my class at Chomp Chomp. I would have dinner with him first then I would meet my class.
I was given a Hero's welcome when I reached chomp chomp *blush blush* After dinner, we went to Dessert Bowl, a nice place at Serangoon Gardens, There, we played a cool action game that got everyone in stiches!! We laughed so hard. All who lost must do a forfeit- Truth or Dare. We had so much fun. I am really glad I came. Er Yang was so hilarious. He really deserves the Most Humorous Award. Yi Lin was super cute and Jing Da.. well He is so LUCKY!!!! not only once but twice... he was... kissed!!!! hahahha
What a day!!! I went home super happy.. super high!
My Wish by Rascal Flatts
I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow And each road leads you where you want to go And if you’re faced with the choice and you have to choose I hope you choose the one that means the most to you And if one door opens to another door closed I hope you keep on walkin’ ‘til you find the window If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile But more than anything, more than anything My wish for you Is that this life becomes all that you want it to Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small You never need to carry more than you can hold And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to I hope you know somebody loves you And wants the same things too Yeah, this is my wish I hope you never look back but you never forget All the ones who love you And the place you left I hope you always forgive and you never regret And you help somebody every chance you get Oh, you find God’s grace in every mistake And always give more than you take But more than anything, yeah more than anything This is my wish I hope you know somebody loves you May all your dreams stay big
{ 12:28 PM }
Thursday, October 9, 2008.
Today was an emotional day for me. I woke up feeling surprisingly good and alert(even though I woke up late today) I thought i would be sleepy as I slept really late last night.
I went to school. My first period was with 43 and I was eager to give them my cards. I sincerely wanted to wish them all the very best for the 'O' level exams. I have a good feeling about the class. I hope they will score many, many distinctions.
Then, I went to 5B.The mood was weird. There was a tinge of sadness but also an anticipation because it was our last lesson together. Even though it was our last lesson, we still managed to cover some grammar tips. I told them about the donuts and they were very happy. I didn't give them any cards because I had already given them their cards and gifts before the prelims. I hope my card would motivate them to work a lot harder for the exams.
During recess, I gave the yummy donuts to 43 and 5B. Then I went to the hall to practise the song item which we would be presenting tomorrow. The lyrics of the song was very meaningful and I teared a little when I sang the song.
I was really excited about VE. I have arranged a special activity. It is something like a Guides' Own.The pupils all sat in a circle. I played sentimental music that really helped set the mood and tone. Some of the pupils were already tearing. Then I told them to close their eyes and reminisce about the past. Then I drew a name from a box. The person had to sit in the middle of our circle and the rest of would pass a talking chip around. We would tell the person how special that person was and how he/she has touched our lives. Of course there were some funny moments but the whole thing was really touching and edifying. Then my pupils put me in the middle of the circle. I couldn't stop my tears from flowing. I was proud of how mature they have become. I was pleased that all my hard work had paid off. They thanked me for uniting the class and bringing fun and laughter to their class. I was very touched. They also put Mr Liu in the hot seat and said really nice things about him too.
Tomorrow would be bitter sweet. I will be saying my goodbyes to my form class 5b, a class that made me cry and laugh. I feel very strongly for them and I will really miss them when they go. They have touched me immensely with their caring ways, their funny jokes and their willingness to love one another . I really love the camaraderie that we share. I really hope they can make the school and me proud by doing exceptionally well in the upcoming exams.
{ 3:49 PM }
narcissism.
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adores.
» Dogs especially my three darlings
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» Gwen Stefani
» Music
» Shopping
» Cars
» Superheroes
» FOOD!
» Prawn Fettucine Neapolitan
To drop 15kg